i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
