There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i think i have herpe
just one?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
