On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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