"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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