I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
