Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
