After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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