I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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