Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
