yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
