there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Tell her she can't have a vagina
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
