i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
my liver is dry heaving
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
