As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
