Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
