Just mADE A PArabola og urine
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
it was like eating out sand paper
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
