Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
