He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
