Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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