pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
tell me about the fingering
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