I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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