Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
