Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She bit a glass in half.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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