Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
As shirtless as possible
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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