Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
