Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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