Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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