i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
