frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
sex in a hospital.. check
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
