I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
