My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize