I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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