this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
