it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize