if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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