Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
