she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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