I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
