her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
