remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
