That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
