If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
