Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize