PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize