I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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