I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
