You work out of a Hotel?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
