I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
