Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
