You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
