Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
