When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize