Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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