Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
