It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize