butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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