I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
