Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
