I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
