does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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