YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
