the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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