This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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